Monday, September 5, 2011

Before letting our girls out

      My room-mate was weeping when I entered the room.  Exhausted after long duty, I wondered what he was crying for as it was unusual.  I never saw him in such a mood.  Being a friend, I realised it is up to me to console him.  While doing so, I paid attention him to listen what the reason was behind his unhappiness.

     The unwrapped story was shocking! It goes like this....
     He is survived by mother, two sisters and a brother. Father had passed away long before. Being the eldest, he took over the burden of that middle-class family.  Though his earning was limited, he fed the siblings and mother as prosperously as he could.  He provided siblings good education in spite of all financial inadequacy.  His pride overflowed when the eldest sister got admission in Banglore for studying BSc nursing soon after her higher secondary result arrived.  Buds of his dreams were getting blossomed one by one.

    Years after one day this sister came home.  Feeling not well.  Problem was serious.  It would have been a pleasure-giving 'illness' if she had married someone before.  But this is pathetic.  Shocking.   Being still unmarried, she was pregnant! And too late to avoid it.  How did it happen?! 

    She confessed him the story over the telephone.  

    She was staying in a hostel. She had rarely been back at home during her first year.  It was barely once in a month she visited home.  But when it was second year she grew more confident and started going home fortnightly then later weekly.  But though actually she got rid of hostel every week, she didn't reach at home any weekends.  Rather, she was getting out the train when it reaches Kochi in order to meet her newly acquainted boy-friend.

   She forgot her family atmosphere and responsibilities while being with him.  She mercilessly crushed under the foot the great hope that her brother had invested in her. She was celibrating while her brother was suffering the temperature of desert for her.

   Similar incidents are common and a number of girls from legitimate family are misled to these traffickings.  A few are caught while the majority are not.  Most of the cases grab public attention only the time those're being trapped with the pregnancy or such kind of dangers.

    However, I reached the point that I was helpless to console him while he was turning around in the whirlpool of extreme disappointment.


  1. The blog post points to a pathetic social problem in India and especially in Kerala. I wish if teenagers grew more sensible not to fall prey in their search for pleasures. V.M.S.

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  3. Extra care from parents are essential to avoid such tragedies. It is very sad that most parents are not ready to accept the negatives of their children. For them they have only positives!

    “Common sense is not so common.”

  4. >>She was celibrating while her brother was suffering the temperature of desert for her <<

    its sad enough.. as mr. Manaf said, extra care needed. even though all such tragedies are become usual now after all..

  5. Thank you VMS. Let's hope our girls have enough awarness not to be trapped.

    MT Manaf sb, as you said, commonsense is not so common nowadays. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    Basheer, Happy to see you here first time. hope your co-operation further.

  6. Good post Shukoorikka, I can understand the helpless situation...

    Most of the 'Malayali' students in Bangalore have sensual partners. But they look innocent when they come back to kerala for marriage, after their studies ! But few are trapped with the pregnancy or such kind of dangers as you said. I had also come across so many cases like this, when I was in Bangalore.

    In hostel, life is full of opportunities of amusement, and students staying in hostels are enjoying their unlimited freedom, instead of studying . Parents want their child to aspire high, but if they want to send their child away for education, some important items to mull over before sending.

  7. Thanks Lipi Ranju. Being an Advocate, you may have come across many such incidents. Guidance post you wrote in your blog to fight back girls with their enemies is relevant nowadays and it's helpful to confront this kind of menace as well.

  8. Hi,
    Things are changing. While we heed the call for economic independence through education for girls, we do not heed the consequent challenges.
    Instead, we think our conservative mental frame work can solve all our problems.

    You have written:''Similar incidents are common and a number of girls from legitimate family are misled to these traffickings''.
    What do you mean, first of all, by legitimate family? Are there families that are legitimate and non-legitimate?

    This does not seem to be trafficking either.

    young girls and boys do not know how to behave in the company of the other sex. parents do not teach them. They think, if they belong to the so called 'legitimate' families they are not affected by boys:).

    However, your topic is very topical. Parents in other countries have very well accepted such challenges while in Kerala they do not want to address them.

    There are a lot to write about this. A comment space is not enough for that.

    all the best

  9. Dear MKeralam,
    Thank you for the detailed analysis of my post.

    You wrote :- "While we heed the call for economic independence through education for girls, we do not heed the consequent challenges".

    That's absolutely correct. But the problem is how to face the challenges. What is the suitable way. Mere imitation of European culture, I think, is not a solution.

    As you told, there are not legitimate and illegitimate families. But the families well-approved by the society (It's a reality) I meant. Most of them are specious though, some of them are struggling to keep themselves away from all kind of wrongdoings.
    And at last these girls, also boys, are pretending as virgins at the time of their marriages. That's of course a social menace.

    And it may be not trafficking but it includes trafficking also. In this particular incident, you are right that it's not trafficking either.

  10. This is often heard and seldom addressed properly.Character and circumstances together make a plot to worsen the destiny of a man.....we often tend to go astray when we forget our home far from makes my heart aches....but what else can i do for sister,
    I wish you find someone responsible to stay with you all along....till your last breath for this sacred act of pleasure of creation.
    Mohammed Jabir
    King Khaled university

  11. usually we read these things in the news paper and most of us forget it when we go to another news bit.
    but when shukoor put it this way, it feels like it has happened to someone very close to you.
    how naive these girls are, and who can educate them about the perils of surrendering to these momentary whims which in turn ruins their entire life.

  12. Dear friends, who want to keep our culture, must be highly aware about the persons who try to propagate western culture and thus to attain their sexual as well as other 'satanic' needs like MKERALAM. First of all we should resist such persons in the society in all way.



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